When I looked in the mirror under the brilliant winter moonlight, I'm sure there were two reflections. I must've been mistaken. I was Wolf at the time.
It's been months now that I've caught a glimpse of myself in double. I'm imagining things, or I must be mad. Two of me?
I became a wolf, just last night, and passed the big mirror in the hall. Yes, two of me. My usual dark wolf's appearance, keeping my brilliant green eyes, walking beside a pale second wolf, green eyed and copying everything I did. A white shadow wolf, but it might've been a trick of moonlight.
I wouldn't be concerned if I hadn't observed what I just saw.
In the hand mirror, as a woman putting my mascara on, I observed a second me with white hair. But my own hair is raven coloured. My eyes are green still. The white haired stranger was green-eyed and she had my face. Who was that?
A memory flooded back when a gypsy woman approached me in town when I was a teenager. She scared me, and I guess that she was a werewolf like me because of her wolf scent and her glowing eyes. I could tell she was a killer type. They have a very dense aura. She gave me some a strange bead that looked like a toth, and warned me about a double self.
Now I'm wondering who that other person is that looks like me looking at me in the mirror. And I wondered what happened to that bead. I lost it many years ago.
I try to ignore it as I went on stage and performed my fiery Juliet Capulet. I wanted to make her almost like an incarnation of Brunhilde or Jeanne d'Arc.
There is something spooky about all of Shakespear's plays. It's full of archaic witchcraft. To be on stage helps me to shine as a full moon and express my hidden inner wolf side through articulating words. I got such a great applause and everyone threw roses at us. It was a beautiful evening. I received bunches of flowers in the changing room all coming from fans who adore me.
I'm a star on stage. At night the true me is primitive and canine as the hounds, spaniels and demi-wolves, et al said Macbeth.
Then there is the double of me in the mirror. I don't get that. Doppelganger! Can I cast away my fears and learn to accept my mysterious pale ghostlier side?
I had a dream where my body split into two people, both me, a light and a dark. I was the dark haired me, the natural me. The light haired was a spirit of me and she told me that I am me.
So I meditated and read books on delving into the subconsious. Jung talked about the shadow self but I'm the living proof of shadow. What about the light self? So on stage, again as Juliet Capulet, I discovered my light self's persona. She emerged within me on stage. She was the gentle and frightened timid Juliet who was often weeping and delicate as a flower. Too fragile and sick, I went backstage and tried to get rid of the light self. I emerged dark, my true self, and returned on the next scene with the aggressive tougher Juliet in character. We got a loud encore and lots of roses, with sweets and gold glitter. I delved deep into my light self to be the sweet natured Juliet and then reappeared as a stronger Juliet facing death with a shield maiden's smile.
That night I became white wolf self! Maybe there are two wolves. Perhaps it's true what some of the elder werewolves write about in their big old books, that a double self is a twin self, two people in one, with two spirits and two features. Or like the moon, full and eclipse with a side we see and another we don't see.
Whatever and whoever I am, there is two of me and I love it. As an actress I cherish both of me. Well this is my story and as a member of Fenrir's Daughters, I wanted to tell the world.
(((Fiction stories of Fenrir's Daughters written by Rayne)))
All rights reserved.
Copyright © 2015 Rayne Herbert.
No comments:
Post a Comment