Tuesday, 29 March 2011


I've experienced the phenomena of transformation, or shape-shifitng. It isn't what you think. It doesn't involve pain or agony. It doesn't have to happen during a full moon. It doesn't need to be physical change from human to wolf. Yet what I've undergone is a shape-shift. That is what I call it - dunno about you.

REAL SHAPE SHIFTING doesn't simply happen overnight or within an hour, or as you see in horror films,  minutes. It takes years. I'm not the same as I used to be before my transformation. I'm not even sure if I've completed full transformation yet. Shape shifting at it's truest sense can't be reversed. Once you've altered, you will never be the person you once were.

Basically I regardless of the shift, I look like a woman and not like a wolf but I'm not the same inside. What caused this wasn't the full moon. It was motherhood. Becoming a mother can do something to any woman's hormones, creating an imbalance, change of mood, and even different traits. I had this during pregnancy, from mood swings, weepiness, my belly swelling, hair changing colour, fuller breasts and the dreaded Pica habits. I used to eat lots of ice and mushrooms. I went off my usual favourite foods and drinks. It made me sick. I felt ill and couldn't wait for pregnancy to be done with. I looked forward to giving birth. When I gave birth I must've been screaming like a woman transforming into a werewolf.

I had my baby and then I changed again. I became paranoid and depressed. I was unsociable. I didn't want others near me or the baby. I was aggressive, like a She-Wolf mother, protective of her new pups. 

A year later, it had been calm and subtle. Then I experienced a severe form of post natal illness called Puerperal Psychosis. I went through an emotional and physical ordeal but eventually, one year later, I recovered from this.

Other weird emotions happened, then passed. During these times, I was in communication with the dead and I could channel and do magic. I suddenly had a burst of artistic inspiration and expressed myself through art. Looking at the material now shows how ill or mad I was then. Then I became different again.People found me freaky and avoided me. I know that there is more stuff, really personal that I won't mention here but I understand that if others encountered me, they would've found me scary, mad or weird. Others told me they felt that I was "poorly" instead of being mad or anything else .

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